Sequined argyle: Hip or hypocritical?

I am going to the Lady Gaga concert in Boston on Tuesday. Fame Monster, here I come. You may be thinking, "Oh my God! What are you going to wear?" Survey says that this is the most popular thing for a person to ask me after I've delivered this news.

It is beyond me why the first question is never, "Oh my God! Why did you waste your money?" Let's be real. The live version of "Paparazzi" will be half as good -- no, let's go with twice as bad -- as the studio version. Will she or won't she lip sync? This is the most pressing musical choice Gaga faces.

I would be stupid to go see Gaga expecting a musical showcase. Half of her lyrics (and even her name) are complete jibberish. Instead, I am expecting a more circus-like performance, in which -- let's be honest -- motley's the only wear. Clearly, the main point of this outing is to look and act like a fool. Or, at the very least, to witness others' -- namely, Gaga's -- follies. What will she do next? What will she wear? Will she be a man or a woman? It's almost Shakespearean.

Costume and over-indulgence will abound and I, for one, will enjoy my view. I can't brag about a fabulous costume or outfit, but I do have a shirt selected that will be subtly entertaining. It is black, with black and silver sequins on it, in an argyle pattern. Yep, sequined argyle: Preppy school girl meets night club. Pretty sure that's what the Scots had in mind.