I did, in fact, elf myself

I did several things to prepare for the Santa Speedo Run. These things did not include eating light and healthy foods for the week or two before race day (in fact, I had bacon-wrapped meat on two separate occassions in the past four days). Also absent on this list was visiting the gym at all in the past ten days. My preparation focused on finding two important, and delicate, balances, both of which centered around my warmth.

The first balance that I pondered was with regard to my outfit, which would dictate my "outer warmth". The powers that be at the Santa Speedo Run headquarters stipulate the following attire guidelines:

• Obviously, a Speedo-like bathing suit is required. Holiday colors are preferred. Please, no thongs! We know you have the body to pull it off, so why prove what's obvious?
• Santa hat, beard and other holiday flair at your discretion

Since my dreams of parading down Newbury Street in a velour/faux fur thong were crushed, I focused on preparing an outfit that would strike the appropriate balance between keeping me warm, and still appearing Speedo-like. All that, with holiday flair. Delicate indeed.

My original vision included a Will Ferrell-inspired elf costume, because, well, smiling is my favorite, too. And because then I'd get to wear tights. I opted for knee-high, red and white striped socks that called attention to my glue-gun and felt elf boots. I attempted to add a bell to the points, but the weight of the bells crushed the formless felt. Unfortunately, I did not get to jingle while I ran. The outfit itself consisted of a green sports bra and a short skirt I sewed out of a t-shirt. Warm(ish), Speedo-like, and festive. Success.

The second balance that I toyed with was with regard to my "inner warmth." On race day, this x-factor was directly related to pre-race libations. How much Jim Beam was necessary for a holiday tingle that would distract me from the 20-degree wind chill? How much would be too much? An attempt to control one's humors is always delicate, and this case was no exception. It did end in success.

In all, time well spent in preparation for a hugely fun outing. The only thing missing were the bells. Next year.